When we hear the word grief, we think that someone has died. But there are other types of grief. There are types of grief that are kept silent, hidden away from others, never to be shared for fear of judgment. People with these types of grief fear telling others because of what others may think of them.
This week has been an eye opener not just for me, but for many who knew Robin Williams. No one on the outside looking in would have ever guessed that he would do what he did. He was famous, he had it all. Or so we all thought. You see, hidden grief affects all kinds of people. I didn't really think about this until my incident. People who are suffering from silent grief are less likely to reach out for help in any form. And it doesn't matter what walk of life they are from.
But that isn't where I want this to go today. Today I want to just talk about the fact that people hide things from those around them and in turn it causes grief. People fear rejection by those around them. They don't want others to know because they may judge them. People who have committed adultery, had an abortion, miscarried a baby, thoughts of suicide, PTSD and yes, eating disorders. These things can be very difficult for people to heal from because the person feels very alone in their grief. Because of this they are less likely to reach out to those around them and ask for help.
I know I am not the only one who feels alone and ashamed due to my silent grief. I am sure anyone who is going through something they are to ashamed to tell anyone about feels the same.
So with this in mind, I want to just say that grief recovery isn't just for those who have lost a loved one. It is beneficial for anyone who has had a situation that has broken their heart. It is important to reach out, even though you may feel ashamed, or scared to tell someone about it, and ask for help. Don't just shove it down inside and try to hide it because it is never truly hidden. You see, you always know that it is there. You always suffer its effects. It may be hidden temporarily, but like a seed put in the ground, it will grow.
It will grow and before you know it, your "secret" is eating away at you. It begins to cause problems in your life, work, family and friendships. It wakes you up in the night or gives you awful dreams. Your health begins to falter and those around you are confused as to why. You become angry about everything, or little things set you off. You become very critical about everyone around you because you don't want to admit what is going on inside of you. Maintaining that "Secret" becomes the most important thing in your life and it is draining. You feel so alone like the only person who has every been where you are at in this moment. You aren't.
You see, no matter what grief experience you are going through, be it the death of a loved one or a silent grief, there is one thing that remains true in every one: God is always there. He is right beside you and not there to condemn or to make you feel guilty. He isn't there as judge. He will not leave you or forsake you in your grief. He is there to reach out a helping hand, to help you through every heartbreak you will go through. He is there to place His healing touch on your life and your situations. He is ever faithful to us. A true help in our time of trouble.
God feels such an incredible compassion for us when we are deeply hurt or when we repent from sin. There is absolutely NOTHING we could do, or nothing that has been done to us that would ever make God love us any less. He created us and He loves us. That means that He is with us for the long haul. He won't give up on me and I know He won't give up on you. There is nothing anyone could do that will make Him love us less. God will not quit on you, He won't falter as you travel along the journey of healing.
I am learning that God's compassion is new every single morning. That as I walk along this journey, and might I add that I am scared, He is so very faithful to walk it with me and at times, if need be, to carry me through them. He will be with me as step by step I begin this journey of healing. And I want everyone else to know, He is there for you to. This doesn't mean that you have to go public with your story like I am choosing to. Your journey, your repentance need only be between you and God. I would encourage you to talk to someone about it though. You see, the devil loves to make you feel like your secrets need to stay secret. That you must keep them hidden or others will think bad of you. That is a lie and if people do think bad of you then shame on them. It is not for them to judge you. There is healing in telling your story to someone. I just encourage you to make sure it is someone who can help you and guide you in the right direction.
I want to be free from this burden and I want others who are feeling trapped like I do to feel freedom as well. I am praying for peace and healing for anyone who might be suffering from a grief, be it loss or silent grief, right now. I know it isn't easy, its a burden so heavy that you feel you will die from it. I know what its like to fear rejection and judgment, but I want you to know that there are also those who will love you no matter what. And God will always love you. There is hope and healing that can be found when you reach out for it. I encourage you to find help, and find rest. Don't try to do it alone anymore. May God's peace and healing be in all our lives.
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