PUT AN END TO ANY NEGATIVE HABITS
OR PATTERNS IN YOUR FAMILY HISTORY.
BE THE ONE WHO RISES UP &CHANGES
THINGS!!!
There are bad habits in every ones lives. For some, they are big, for others they are small. But no matter what they are, they are not good. They speak of our character and I have learned that our character is the only thing we can work hard on and change.
My family is no different than anyone else's. We all have habits that we have learned from our elders that keep getting passed down from generation to generation. Some habits are how we identify certain people in our family. "oh here comes________, you know the religious one, late one, fat, skinny, short, tall, you name it, you can honestly put any label in there. There are good habits as well, like being caring, loving, compassionate. In each family there are both, good and bad habits. So we pick up these habits as we grow up.
Some habits though are not good ones to pick up. They are habits that speak of our character. They tell people who we are or how we value them. This can be anyone we come into contact with, family, friends, co-workers or complete strangers. And first impressions only happen once. I am only going to discuss a few habits I am or have struggled with.
The first one, I am constantly late. I think about the people I am affecting by being late, but it just never seems to get better. Phillipians 2:4 says, "Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." This admonishes me to be considerate of others and to make a better effort to be on time. If I am constantly late, it says I do not value the thing or the people I am going to be around. I hate being late but it still seems to be the norm for me.
How about gossiping. This used to be a big one for me. I wish I could say I never do it, but I am working hard at making it very minimal. I may discuss someone with someone else, but I am making a conscious effort not to make disparaging remarks about them.
At the time it may seem like fun to all sit around and talk about someone else, but think of this, how would you feel if they were talking about you? Proverbs 16:28 "A forward man soweth strife; and a whisperer seprateth chief friends." Gossip is such an easy trap to fall into. It is critical that you figure out if you are part of the problem with gossip, or part of the solution being gossiped about. If you are neither, then why partake of it. You don't need gossip in your life because it only brings strife to others. Don't be a part of it. I just politely say, I don't really need to know this and I have other things I need to do.
Procrastination is another habit I suffer from occasionally. Its not as bad as when I was younger and I learned while in college, it never pays off. Psalms 119:15-16 "I will meditate in the precepts, and have respect unto thy ways. I will delight myself in thy statures; I will not forget thy word.
Procrastination is not a habit you want. It can delay or even stop our plans because we keep putting off what we need to do. This can cause us to become lazy in the thing we really wanted or needed to do. It is the opposite of being diligent in our life. I recently have been doing that with exercise. I was doing really good and than I started my new job. I kept putting off my workout until the next day with excuses for why I couldn't do it today. This does not benefit me and has only made me lazy in that area. That can then bleed into other areas of my life.
How many times have you heard foul language come out of some ones mouth? When I hear it, I am almost sickened. It is so ugly. And yet, I find myself, every once it a great while, saying one and wishing I could just take it back. Ephesians 4:22-24 "That ye put off concerning the former conversation of your old self, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of mind; and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness." I strive to live my life and speak in a way that only brings glory and not shame to God. I may not always succeed, but I am working on it.
I know I will never follow the ten commandments or the new law under the new testament, to a tee. I will stumble at times, and I will get on my knees and ask for forgiveness. I know that all people have things they want to work on or change in their lives. I am not put on this earth to judge the behavior of others. As shown above, I have some things in myself that I need to work on. The best I can do in my life is to keep my eyes on Jesus and walk with the Spirit. By walking in the Spirit rather than in my flesh, I will choose the good things.
I will struggle and fight each and every day with my sin nature. But I know where to find my strength, in the Holy Spirit. It is not a good thing that we walk around talking about or judging others because of what they have said or done. I need only look after my own thoughts, words and deeds. In this, I can find freedom and peace, even when all around me is in chaos.
Galatians 5:15-17 "But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another so that you may not do the things you please."
Monday, November 17, 2014
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Why we should cry.
"You keep track of my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalms 56.8
Have you ever been told that you should not cry, or quit crying, or heard a parent say, "act like a big boy or girl and stop crying? Or have you ever been accused of being over emotional? Well I have to all the above. Yes, I am a person given to crying at the drop of a hat. Movies, commercials and cards can all trigger my tears.
About a month or so ago, when I had just returned from Denver after 5 weeks away, my husband and I went for a ride into the mountains. Now you must know that my husband is a really strong guy, 6' 7", 275, and full of muscles. I lean on him for his physical and emotional strength, but on this particular day, I would see the side of him that makes him my superman.
As we are driving up into the mountains we had been talking. Mostly about the last 5 weeks, my journey to health, the loss of my dad and his, and just how much we really love each other. I know at this point some of you might be saying, "sappy." Well I love that my hubby loves to communicate with me. I truly believe this has been the key to our 26years of marriage. That and the fact we are both stubborn.
As we were talking my husband became quiet. I looked over and saw tears in his eyes and of course, I start to cry. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I am just so happy your home and I love you so much," This made me cry a little harder. We cried together a little and then we started to giggle a bit. This would probably never have happened in public, but he has cried in a dark theater once or twice.
Tears can represent happiness, sadness, anger, fear, stress and sickness. My husband has seen me cry in all of these situations, but in the past few years, I had learned to control that. I didn't cry in situations that should have brought tears. Years of being told I cry to much, I need to be stronger, having my kids watch me during a movie and laughing when I would spring a leak. People didn't do this to be mean but because of their own discomfort with crying. And men have it even harder because they are supposed to be big and tough.
My husband has cried in front of our children and I think this is the healthy thing to do. You see, research has shown that when a person cries they are actually washing away the negative effects that stress has on our bodies. In the bible we read that God takes note of each of our tears. They can show the depth of our emotions and God cares when we are hurting, happy, angry, scared or sick.
Now my husband is not completely comfortable with me crying and it isn't because he is uncaring, on the contrary, he cares very deeply. He just doesn't like to see me hurting just as God doesn't want to see us hurting. I believe that it also grows our marriage stronger. My husband holds me up when I am weak and I return the same.
Tears also have a true healing property. They help to fight germs you might get off of the things you touch daily. So they kill bacteria. Tears also remove toxins. When we cry tears from distress of grief toxic, byproducts are released. They elevate our mood and lower stress. They also build a sense of community. When others see us cry, our hearts go out to them We begin to feel for them. This builds connection.
So overall, tears are a really good thing. It is so good for you to cry, and to cry with others, those who love you. Don't hide your emotions because you are scared, feel you have to be tough or because you don't believe you can let yourself feel. God created emotions for a reason. They are how we get a sense of what's going on inside our bodies when we might not know.
So, let yourself cry. It doesn't mean your weak, it means your truly strong.
Have you ever been told that you should not cry, or quit crying, or heard a parent say, "act like a big boy or girl and stop crying? Or have you ever been accused of being over emotional? Well I have to all the above. Yes, I am a person given to crying at the drop of a hat. Movies, commercials and cards can all trigger my tears.
About a month or so ago, when I had just returned from Denver after 5 weeks away, my husband and I went for a ride into the mountains. Now you must know that my husband is a really strong guy, 6' 7", 275, and full of muscles. I lean on him for his physical and emotional strength, but on this particular day, I would see the side of him that makes him my superman.
As we are driving up into the mountains we had been talking. Mostly about the last 5 weeks, my journey to health, the loss of my dad and his, and just how much we really love each other. I know at this point some of you might be saying, "sappy." Well I love that my hubby loves to communicate with me. I truly believe this has been the key to our 26years of marriage. That and the fact we are both stubborn.
As we were talking my husband became quiet. I looked over and saw tears in his eyes and of course, I start to cry. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I am just so happy your home and I love you so much," This made me cry a little harder. We cried together a little and then we started to giggle a bit. This would probably never have happened in public, but he has cried in a dark theater once or twice.
Tears can represent happiness, sadness, anger, fear, stress and sickness. My husband has seen me cry in all of these situations, but in the past few years, I had learned to control that. I didn't cry in situations that should have brought tears. Years of being told I cry to much, I need to be stronger, having my kids watch me during a movie and laughing when I would spring a leak. People didn't do this to be mean but because of their own discomfort with crying. And men have it even harder because they are supposed to be big and tough.
My husband has cried in front of our children and I think this is the healthy thing to do. You see, research has shown that when a person cries they are actually washing away the negative effects that stress has on our bodies. In the bible we read that God takes note of each of our tears. They can show the depth of our emotions and God cares when we are hurting, happy, angry, scared or sick.
Now my husband is not completely comfortable with me crying and it isn't because he is uncaring, on the contrary, he cares very deeply. He just doesn't like to see me hurting just as God doesn't want to see us hurting. I believe that it also grows our marriage stronger. My husband holds me up when I am weak and I return the same.
Tears also have a true healing property. They help to fight germs you might get off of the things you touch daily. So they kill bacteria. Tears also remove toxins. When we cry tears from distress of grief toxic, byproducts are released. They elevate our mood and lower stress. They also build a sense of community. When others see us cry, our hearts go out to them We begin to feel for them. This builds connection.
So overall, tears are a really good thing. It is so good for you to cry, and to cry with others, those who love you. Don't hide your emotions because you are scared, feel you have to be tough or because you don't believe you can let yourself feel. God created emotions for a reason. They are how we get a sense of what's going on inside our bodies when we might not know.
So, let yourself cry. It doesn't mean your weak, it means your truly strong.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Re-entering Life
So tonight marks my last night of stay at home. I am now 3 months out from the last time I worked. Wow, now that is something I never thought I would do since all my children are now grown.I It has been a long road, this road called recovery, but a journey I will never regret.
I am excited and nervous to start this next part of my journey. I can't wait to see what my new job holds for me. I will be working with all new people but I will be doing what I truly love. I can't wait to get back to caring for the people of my community in the job I truly believe God has called me to. But as I look forward to this, I realize that there is so much more waiting for me.
I have been home 5 weeks now. Time flies when your having fun they say. Fun is not exactly what I would call the last five weeks, but there has been a new joy I have found. Oh, and a new strength inside of myself that I never new was there. I have learned the word no and how to stand up for myself. My son complimented me today when he said, "mom, you really have changed." That felt good to hear that others are seeing that change.
I can only attribute this change to God of course. He has placed all the right people into my life at just the right times. It has helped me get to know myself and to prepare myself for my life after. I am so ready to get back to life again. I have been home like I said, but I have mostly been at home, with my family getting stronger. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family to just love me back to healthy.
Now that is not to say there hasn't been or won't be challenges. I am not foolish enough to believe that all is going to be simple or easy. I do know that I have the tools to deal with the challenges that I might face as I re-enter life. I am beginning to believe in myself and my abilities. I know that recovery from a loss takes time. They have told me to expect this to take at least a year. Its not until that year is over, without any behaviors mind you, that I can truly say I am recovered. That may seem like a long time but I am already 3 months down, leaving only 9 more to go.
Life will bring happiness and sadness, it will sling mud and bring showers to wash it back off. Life will have its ups and downs but overall, I continue to feel blessed. I grow stronger each and everyday with the help of my family and friends and most importantly, from God. I will march boldly back into the life that God has blessed me with, without fear or trepidation knowing that with each step, my heavenly father will be holding me in the palm of His hand. I am ready to re-enter life.
I am excited and nervous to start this next part of my journey. I can't wait to see what my new job holds for me. I will be working with all new people but I will be doing what I truly love. I can't wait to get back to caring for the people of my community in the job I truly believe God has called me to. But as I look forward to this, I realize that there is so much more waiting for me.
I have been home 5 weeks now. Time flies when your having fun they say. Fun is not exactly what I would call the last five weeks, but there has been a new joy I have found. Oh, and a new strength inside of myself that I never new was there. I have learned the word no and how to stand up for myself. My son complimented me today when he said, "mom, you really have changed." That felt good to hear that others are seeing that change.
I can only attribute this change to God of course. He has placed all the right people into my life at just the right times. It has helped me get to know myself and to prepare myself for my life after. I am so ready to get back to life again. I have been home like I said, but I have mostly been at home, with my family getting stronger. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family to just love me back to healthy.
Now that is not to say there hasn't been or won't be challenges. I am not foolish enough to believe that all is going to be simple or easy. I do know that I have the tools to deal with the challenges that I might face as I re-enter life. I am beginning to believe in myself and my abilities. I know that recovery from a loss takes time. They have told me to expect this to take at least a year. Its not until that year is over, without any behaviors mind you, that I can truly say I am recovered. That may seem like a long time but I am already 3 months down, leaving only 9 more to go.
Life will bring happiness and sadness, it will sling mud and bring showers to wash it back off. Life will have its ups and downs but overall, I continue to feel blessed. I grow stronger each and everyday with the help of my family and friends and most importantly, from God. I will march boldly back into the life that God has blessed me with, without fear or trepidation knowing that with each step, my heavenly father will be holding me in the palm of His hand. I am ready to re-enter life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)