A hospice nurse...
That is what I have become. I work in hospice now. I am an RN case manager. My job is such a rewarding job, that there isn't a day where I really feel like I am going to work. I am learning so much and I get to help people through one of the hardest times in life.
I started my hospice journey as an LPN. I had a patient on home health, which is where I was working, and he needed to be hospice, I mean he really, really needed to be on hospice. I could not convince him so I asked the DON of hospice to talk to him. She went down and visited with him. Explained to him all that hospice included, and even explained that he would still have a nurse in that would see him like I had been doing.
I received a call from the DON that day. She explained to me that the pt. would agree to go to hospice if, and only if, I agreed to stay in as his nurse. Well, I wont beat around the bush and act like this was the most wonderful thing I'd ever heard. I absolutely did not want to be a hospice nurse. I thought I knew what that meant, that I would have to care for this patient and than watch them die. No sir, not for me, I was going to school to get my RN so I could be a labor and delivery nurse, not a hospice nurse.
Well, after some time I did decide to become his hospice nurse. It was not an easy decision because I have always been uncomfortable with the dying process, and I was so scared of watching a person take their last breath. I was fortunate enough not to be exposed to loved ones dying as I was growing up. I had only lost my grandfather when I was 6 years old.
Taking care of the person was not as hard as I thought it would be. It was much the same as when I was doing home health. The real difference didn't become apparent until the dying process was taking place right before my eyes. The RN I worked with said just to pray and let God speak to me to help with what to say, and what to do.
I will admit, I was scared that I would break down and cry, or panic when the person passed away. I was so thankful and amazed when I didn't. I guided the family as to what to do, as I stayed by their side, and a cared for the patient until his last breath. The experience was eye opening. I felt so blessed to be a part of this very intimate experience.
I did cry, but not until I was in my car and heading home. Of course there is a lot that takes place from the time the person passes, to the time I leave the home, but I will not be sharing that with this story as it is very private. I will share what happens at a later time in another story. This was my first, and was not what I expected. I have to credit my RN with all the knowledge she shared with me to be able to do this.
This is the first of many stories on my hospice journey. I will share more in time, but for now, I just wanted to share a little of what has changed for me. Out of my experiences, God has lead me into a line of work where I feel I am called, blessed, and loved.
