Psalms 119:105
Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
The world can be a dark place. Not in terms of sunlight or night-time, but in terms of the way people are, things that are happening, or the way you feel. Loneliness can make it feel very dark. You would think in a world full of people, how could one feel lonely? Well, they can and do.
There are many reasons why a person could feel lonely. Isolation, by choice, or because of location or just because they are not the kind of person to just put their self out there to make friends. Whatever the reason, it was not God's plan for us to be alone. He wants us to have fellowship with other Christians.
This concept of a person not being alone was first addressed in Genesis. God had created man and all other living creatures. Two of every living thing. He then realized that Adam was alone. Although the earth was full, Adam had no one like him. So, God created Eve.
The reason was so that man would not be alone. From my nursing perspective, and as noted in psychology, we have seen studies where babies who are without mothers, or people are isolated from others do not do well. They do not develop properly, or they go insane. That is because we are created for relationships. We need one another. Fellowship, someone to talk to, share your thoughts and ideas with someone to dream with, laugh with, or even cry with.
The darkness of being lonely can lead to very bad things. The mind can play tricks, the devil steps in and makes one feel like death is the only answer. With death, the ugly lie whispers, pain will cease. That is an out and out untruth. With that type of death is a pain that far surpasses any worldly pain. An eternal pain that will never go away. It is terrible. It is a pain that forever separates us from those we love. Eternity in a dark place void of love or peace.
Grief can lead us to a dark place, especially a grief that is unexpected. We are traveling along in this life just minding our business when death strikes without warning. Maybe it's a terminal diagnosis, a car accident, a sudden death of a loved one we were not prepared for. It is for this very reason that people decide to be alone or stay alone. They figure without relationships; I will not hurt.
Let me tell you, life without relationships hurts us far more than we could ever fathom. Persons who have no desire to have relationships do not understand compassion, empathy, or love. These types of people can be devoid of human emotions. They can grow up to become people who can hurt others in physical or emotional ways, and they suffer no conscience for doing so. These people are the ones who can easily slip into becoming serial killers, or physical abusers.
God's concept of relationships was one in which we find another person, or persons, with whom we can share this journey called life with. This can come in the form of family, friends, or spouse. We must also remember that friendships can be reason, season, or lifetime friendships. Not all the people we meet are meant to be involved in our day to day life forever.
The reason friends are the ones that come into our lives to help us through something. It could be a struggle like raising young kids, being a single parent, walking with us through a divorce or breakup, or helping during the death of a loved one. They or we do not know that at the time, but in retrospect we see that that was the purpose for those relationships.
Then there are seasonal friends. These friends are a part of a season in our life. This could be in school, as a single person, young married person, new parents, when kids leave home, or any season we may be going through in our life. These types of friends leave a bigger hole when they leave, but again, we can look back and see there was a season we needed them for.
Then there are lifetime friends. These types of relationships last a lifetime. It does not mean you spend every single day with them, or even see them all the time. They are friendships that are there and the people we know we can turn to in times of hardship or celebration. These friends step in when they know we need them. They help us navigate the hardest times in our lives as well as push us to grow. They are our biggest fans, our broadest shoulders, and just plain good for our soul.
As you can see, relationships come in all different shapes and sizes. Not one fits all situations. Just like we should not depend on only one person to fulfill our relationship needs. We need different friendships for different situations. My marital relationship fills a need that no one else can fill. My relationship with my children is different for each one and also fills needs that no one else can fill. Last but not least, my outside friendships fill needs that are different for each one.
To wrap it up, remember that relationships should be a light in our life. They will ebb and wain. They will be good, bad, and ugly at times. They help us grow, teach us about ourselves, and should nurture us in our needs. A relationship should not bring darkness, anger, or physical harm continuously. With this in mind, at times a relationship can bring anger, and pain, but it should never result in a physical harm.
Be blessed and may God keep you!
