Why we should cry.

     "You keep track of my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalms 56.8   

Have you ever been told that you should not cry, or quit crying, or heard a parent say, "act like a big boy or girl and stop crying?  Or have you ever been accused of being over emotional?  Well I have to all the above. Yes, I am a person given to crying at the drop of a hat.   Movies, commercials and cards can all trigger my tears.

     About a month or so ago, when I had just returned from Denver after 5 weeks away, my husband and I went for a ride into the mountains. Now you must know that my husband is a really strong guy, 6' 7", 275, and full of muscles. I lean on him for his physical and emotional strength, but on this particular day, I would see the side of him that makes him my superman. 

     As we are driving up into the mountains we had been talking. Mostly about the last 5 weeks, my journey to health, the loss of my dad and his, and just how much we really love each other. I know at this point some of you might be saying, "sappy." Well I love that my hubby loves to communicate with me. I truly believe this has been the key to our 26years of marriage. That and the fact we are both stubborn.

     As we were talking my husband became quiet.  I looked over and saw tears in his eyes and of course, I start to cry.  I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I am just so happy your home and I love you so much,"  This made me cry a little harder. We cried together a little and then we started to giggle a bit.  This would probably never have happened in public, but he has cried in a dark theater once or twice.

     Tears can represent happiness, sadness, anger, fear, stress and sickness.  My husband has seen me cry in all of these situations, but in the past few years, I had learned to control that. I didn't cry in situations that should have brought tears. Years of being told I cry to much, I need to be stronger, having my kids watch me during a movie and laughing when I would spring a leak.  People didn't do this to be mean but because of their own discomfort with crying. And men have it even harder because they are supposed to be big and tough.

     My husband has cried in front of our children and I think this is the healthy thing to do. You see, research has shown that when a person cries they are actually washing away the negative effects that stress has on our bodies.  In the bible we read that God takes note of each of our tears.  They can show the depth of our emotions and God cares when we are hurting, happy, angry, scared or sick. 

     Now my husband is not completely comfortable with me crying and it isn't because he is uncaring, on the contrary, he cares very deeply. He just doesn't like to see me hurting just as God doesn't want to see us hurting.  I believe that it also grows our marriage stronger.  My husband holds me up when I am weak and I return the same. 

     Tears also have a true healing property.  They help to fight germs you might get off of the things you touch daily. So they kill bacteria.  Tears also remove toxins.  When we cry tears from distress of grief toxic, byproducts are released.  They elevate our mood and lower stress.  They also build a sense of community. When others see us cry, our hearts go out to them We begin to feel for them. This builds connection.

     So overall, tears are a really good thing. It is so good for you to cry, and to cry with others, those who love you. Don't hide your emotions because you are scared, feel you have to be tough or because you don't believe you can let yourself feel. God created emotions for a reason. They are how we get a sense of what's going on inside our bodies when we might not know.

     So, let yourself cry. It doesn't mean your weak, it means your truly strong.