Re-entering Life

     So tonight marks my last night of stay at home. I am now 3 months out from the last time I worked. Wow, now that is something I never thought I would do since all my children are now grown.I It has been a long road, this road called recovery, but a journey I will never regret.

     I am excited and nervous to start this next part of my journey. I can't wait to see what my new job holds for me. I will be working with all new people but I will be doing what I truly love. I can't wait to get back to caring for the people of my community in the job I truly believe God has called me to. But as I look forward to this, I realize that there is so much more waiting for me.

     I have been home 5 weeks now. Time flies when your having fun they say. Fun is not exactly what I would call the last five weeks, but there has been a new joy I have found. Oh, and a new strength inside of myself that I never new was there. I have learned the word no and how to stand up for myself. My son complimented me today when he said, "mom, you really have changed."  That felt good to hear that others are seeing that change.

     I can only attribute this change to God of course. He has placed all the right people into my life at just the right times. It has helped me get to know myself and to prepare myself for my life after.  I am so ready to get back to life again. I have been home like I said, but I have mostly been at home, with my family getting stronger. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family to just love me back to healthy.

     Now that is not to say there hasn't been or won't be challenges. I am not foolish enough to believe that all is going to be simple or easy.  I do know that I have the tools to deal with the challenges that I might face as I re-enter life.  I am beginning to believe in myself and my abilities. I know that recovery from a loss takes time. They have told me to expect this to take at least a year. Its not until that year is over, without any behaviors mind you, that I can truly say I am recovered.  That may seem like a long time but I am already 3 months down, leaving only 9 more to go.

     Life will bring happiness and sadness, it will sling mud and bring showers to wash it back off.  Life will have its ups and downs but overall, I continue to feel blessed.  I grow stronger each and everyday with the help of my family and friends and most importantly, from God.  I will march boldly back into the life that God has blessed me with, without fear or trepidation knowing that with each step, my heavenly father will be holding me in the palm of His hand. I am ready to re-enter life.