"See now that I myself am He! There is no god beside me. I put to death and I bring to life, I have wounded and I will heal, and no one can deliver out of my hand." Deuteronomy 32:39 NIV
At first this verse confused me. Why would God hurt someone? Or why would He allow hurt into someone's life? Well I had to start looking at what causes woundedness, It can come from several different things. It could be because of our own sin or choice, a result of sin or choice of another, it could even be just because we live in a sinful world. In the scripture above, we see that even God wounds but He also heals.
In my lifetime I can't even begin to count the number of wounded people I have encountered. Especially now that I work in the medical field. Yeah sure I see physical wounds, but I am talking something deeper. I am talking wounds inside, ones that aren't visible to the people around you. Some people will speak about their wounds, but it seems to me, more people keep them deep inside.
I have noticed that those who keep those wounds inside, tend to have physical health manifestations. Now I haven't done any study on this so this is just my own observation, but those people who I speak to that have the most health issues, seem to have some of the deepest wounds, none physical wounds. Why? I believe it is because they chose to bury the wounds and not address them.
So it doesn't take someone in the medical field to know that if you have a wound, and you chose to just ignore it, its going to get infected and get worse. So, again just my observation, if your hurting about something in your life, and you never talk about it, it festers and gets infected, just like a physical wound would. It may scab over, but it never truly heals. it will also hurt all the time and never go away.
I see people in my line of work, meet people at the gym or other places I go, work with people and even have friends and family that are what I call, the walking wounded. There are things in their lives that have hurt them, but for some reason they have chosen to bottle up that hurt, not seek healing for the wounds, and now the wounds are festering. When I see people like this, I see in them things that they might not normally do or hear them say things they might not normally say.
These people may not even be aware of the wounds they are hiding because it is things they would rather not face. When this happens, they tend to strike out at others or find that they can't have successful relationships. They tend not to trust people which makes it hard for relationships to form. And the relationships they do have, suffer because they don't trust anyone.
Its a lose, lose situation for them and those who love them. They can't trust or open up, and the people who want to be in their lives get pushed out or pushed away without ever knowing why. The person doing the pushing may not even know why. This creates a never ending cycle that never allows for healing. It is only when the person who is wounded, either realizes the hurt, or run into someone who has been in that place. or even someone with a background in counseling gets a hold of them, that this cycle can be stopped.
There is hope for those of us who have been wounded. Its not easy sometimes to face what has caused those wounds, it might be a parent, a family member, a person we loved very much, or a total stranger. Its when we see that we are wounded and begin the journey of healing, that we see how much we have lost. Its like a wound that never gets treated, it festers and can eventually cause you to be seriously ill and even lead to death. Now, I am not saying that all past hurts that have created wounds can kill you, but some can.
After years of my own wounds slowly killing me, I decided to ask for help. What others did to me was not affecting them, but it sure was hurting me. The wounds I had went very, very deep. It was awful how badly they affected every part of my life. They even began to steal my health and take me away from my family. But I woke up one morning and decided that enough was enough. I was tired of the deep hurts, wounds that were left gaping. I needed to get healed.
The healing process can be painful as well. Its not like you wake up one morning and say ok, everything is better. It takes time, and for me some other wounds were created in the healing process. Some may have already been there as I look back, I just couldn't see them because of the ones that were so big. But the healing process did begin, the past no longer had a death grip on my life. I began to be able to truly see the many blessings in my life. Funny, they were always there, I just couldn't see past the wounds.
I lost a lot of life, living, loving, and laughing because I was so wrapped up in my woundedness. Life went on, and I was present but never truly present. I feel like I would go through the motions for the sake of others. How sad is that. To not be able to remember some of the fun times in my life because I was focused on the past. My son, the youngest of my four children, said to me, "Mom, you don't drive your car down the road always looking in the rearview mirror, you have to look ahead." Wow, out of the mouths of babes. Well, he is 19, but what wisdom this one has.
I was going through life looking in the rearview mirror, focused on the things that had already happened. So much so that I was missing what was going on in the present. But not anymore. I have begun a journey of healing. Of letting go of the past and things that I can't change. Letting anger and resentment go so that I can feel true joy. You can't feel true joy, love or peace until you let go of the past. By being angry and resentful, my heart was already full. There was no room for other emotions.
Now that I have forgiven, and truly let go, I can feel for the first time. Feel real love, joy and peace. It doesn't mean that there won't be times of sadness, because that is in everyday life, but it means that those moments are smaller and take up less room in my life than they did before. By letting go of the things of the past, that will never be changed no matter how much you dwell on them, you feel lighter, you love better, heck you live better.
SO now the question is, are you ready to let go????
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Monday, November 17, 2014
Breaking habits
PUT AN END TO ANY NEGATIVE HABITS
OR PATTERNS IN YOUR FAMILY HISTORY.
BE THE ONE WHO RISES UP &CHANGES
THINGS!!!
There are bad habits in every ones lives. For some, they are big, for others they are small. But no matter what they are, they are not good. They speak of our character and I have learned that our character is the only thing we can work hard on and change.
My family is no different than anyone else's. We all have habits that we have learned from our elders that keep getting passed down from generation to generation. Some habits are how we identify certain people in our family. "oh here comes________, you know the religious one, late one, fat, skinny, short, tall, you name it, you can honestly put any label in there. There are good habits as well, like being caring, loving, compassionate. In each family there are both, good and bad habits. So we pick up these habits as we grow up.
Some habits though are not good ones to pick up. They are habits that speak of our character. They tell people who we are or how we value them. This can be anyone we come into contact with, family, friends, co-workers or complete strangers. And first impressions only happen once. I am only going to discuss a few habits I am or have struggled with.
The first one, I am constantly late. I think about the people I am affecting by being late, but it just never seems to get better. Phillipians 2:4 says, "Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." This admonishes me to be considerate of others and to make a better effort to be on time. If I am constantly late, it says I do not value the thing or the people I am going to be around. I hate being late but it still seems to be the norm for me.
How about gossiping. This used to be a big one for me. I wish I could say I never do it, but I am working hard at making it very minimal. I may discuss someone with someone else, but I am making a conscious effort not to make disparaging remarks about them.
At the time it may seem like fun to all sit around and talk about someone else, but think of this, how would you feel if they were talking about you? Proverbs 16:28 "A forward man soweth strife; and a whisperer seprateth chief friends." Gossip is such an easy trap to fall into. It is critical that you figure out if you are part of the problem with gossip, or part of the solution being gossiped about. If you are neither, then why partake of it. You don't need gossip in your life because it only brings strife to others. Don't be a part of it. I just politely say, I don't really need to know this and I have other things I need to do.
Procrastination is another habit I suffer from occasionally. Its not as bad as when I was younger and I learned while in college, it never pays off. Psalms 119:15-16 "I will meditate in the precepts, and have respect unto thy ways. I will delight myself in thy statures; I will not forget thy word.
Procrastination is not a habit you want. It can delay or even stop our plans because we keep putting off what we need to do. This can cause us to become lazy in the thing we really wanted or needed to do. It is the opposite of being diligent in our life. I recently have been doing that with exercise. I was doing really good and than I started my new job. I kept putting off my workout until the next day with excuses for why I couldn't do it today. This does not benefit me and has only made me lazy in that area. That can then bleed into other areas of my life.
How many times have you heard foul language come out of some ones mouth? When I hear it, I am almost sickened. It is so ugly. And yet, I find myself, every once it a great while, saying one and wishing I could just take it back. Ephesians 4:22-24 "That ye put off concerning the former conversation of your old self, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of mind; and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness." I strive to live my life and speak in a way that only brings glory and not shame to God. I may not always succeed, but I am working on it.
I know I will never follow the ten commandments or the new law under the new testament, to a tee. I will stumble at times, and I will get on my knees and ask for forgiveness. I know that all people have things they want to work on or change in their lives. I am not put on this earth to judge the behavior of others. As shown above, I have some things in myself that I need to work on. The best I can do in my life is to keep my eyes on Jesus and walk with the Spirit. By walking in the Spirit rather than in my flesh, I will choose the good things.
I will struggle and fight each and every day with my sin nature. But I know where to find my strength, in the Holy Spirit. It is not a good thing that we walk around talking about or judging others because of what they have said or done. I need only look after my own thoughts, words and deeds. In this, I can find freedom and peace, even when all around me is in chaos.
Galatians 5:15-17 "But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another so that you may not do the things you please."
OR PATTERNS IN YOUR FAMILY HISTORY.
BE THE ONE WHO RISES UP &CHANGES
THINGS!!!
There are bad habits in every ones lives. For some, they are big, for others they are small. But no matter what they are, they are not good. They speak of our character and I have learned that our character is the only thing we can work hard on and change.
My family is no different than anyone else's. We all have habits that we have learned from our elders that keep getting passed down from generation to generation. Some habits are how we identify certain people in our family. "oh here comes________, you know the religious one, late one, fat, skinny, short, tall, you name it, you can honestly put any label in there. There are good habits as well, like being caring, loving, compassionate. In each family there are both, good and bad habits. So we pick up these habits as we grow up.
Some habits though are not good ones to pick up. They are habits that speak of our character. They tell people who we are or how we value them. This can be anyone we come into contact with, family, friends, co-workers or complete strangers. And first impressions only happen once. I am only going to discuss a few habits I am or have struggled with.
The first one, I am constantly late. I think about the people I am affecting by being late, but it just never seems to get better. Phillipians 2:4 says, "Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." This admonishes me to be considerate of others and to make a better effort to be on time. If I am constantly late, it says I do not value the thing or the people I am going to be around. I hate being late but it still seems to be the norm for me.
How about gossiping. This used to be a big one for me. I wish I could say I never do it, but I am working hard at making it very minimal. I may discuss someone with someone else, but I am making a conscious effort not to make disparaging remarks about them.
At the time it may seem like fun to all sit around and talk about someone else, but think of this, how would you feel if they were talking about you? Proverbs 16:28 "A forward man soweth strife; and a whisperer seprateth chief friends." Gossip is such an easy trap to fall into. It is critical that you figure out if you are part of the problem with gossip, or part of the solution being gossiped about. If you are neither, then why partake of it. You don't need gossip in your life because it only brings strife to others. Don't be a part of it. I just politely say, I don't really need to know this and I have other things I need to do.
Procrastination is another habit I suffer from occasionally. Its not as bad as when I was younger and I learned while in college, it never pays off. Psalms 119:15-16 "I will meditate in the precepts, and have respect unto thy ways. I will delight myself in thy statures; I will not forget thy word.
Procrastination is not a habit you want. It can delay or even stop our plans because we keep putting off what we need to do. This can cause us to become lazy in the thing we really wanted or needed to do. It is the opposite of being diligent in our life. I recently have been doing that with exercise. I was doing really good and than I started my new job. I kept putting off my workout until the next day with excuses for why I couldn't do it today. This does not benefit me and has only made me lazy in that area. That can then bleed into other areas of my life.
How many times have you heard foul language come out of some ones mouth? When I hear it, I am almost sickened. It is so ugly. And yet, I find myself, every once it a great while, saying one and wishing I could just take it back. Ephesians 4:22-24 "That ye put off concerning the former conversation of your old self, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of mind; and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness." I strive to live my life and speak in a way that only brings glory and not shame to God. I may not always succeed, but I am working on it.
I know I will never follow the ten commandments or the new law under the new testament, to a tee. I will stumble at times, and I will get on my knees and ask for forgiveness. I know that all people have things they want to work on or change in their lives. I am not put on this earth to judge the behavior of others. As shown above, I have some things in myself that I need to work on. The best I can do in my life is to keep my eyes on Jesus and walk with the Spirit. By walking in the Spirit rather than in my flesh, I will choose the good things.
I will struggle and fight each and every day with my sin nature. But I know where to find my strength, in the Holy Spirit. It is not a good thing that we walk around talking about or judging others because of what they have said or done. I need only look after my own thoughts, words and deeds. In this, I can find freedom and peace, even when all around me is in chaos.
Galatians 5:15-17 "But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another so that you may not do the things you please."
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Why we should cry.
"You keep track of my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalms 56.8
Have you ever been told that you should not cry, or quit crying, or heard a parent say, "act like a big boy or girl and stop crying? Or have you ever been accused of being over emotional? Well I have to all the above. Yes, I am a person given to crying at the drop of a hat. Movies, commercials and cards can all trigger my tears.
About a month or so ago, when I had just returned from Denver after 5 weeks away, my husband and I went for a ride into the mountains. Now you must know that my husband is a really strong guy, 6' 7", 275, and full of muscles. I lean on him for his physical and emotional strength, but on this particular day, I would see the side of him that makes him my superman.
As we are driving up into the mountains we had been talking. Mostly about the last 5 weeks, my journey to health, the loss of my dad and his, and just how much we really love each other. I know at this point some of you might be saying, "sappy." Well I love that my hubby loves to communicate with me. I truly believe this has been the key to our 26years of marriage. That and the fact we are both stubborn.
As we were talking my husband became quiet. I looked over and saw tears in his eyes and of course, I start to cry. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I am just so happy your home and I love you so much," This made me cry a little harder. We cried together a little and then we started to giggle a bit. This would probably never have happened in public, but he has cried in a dark theater once or twice.
Tears can represent happiness, sadness, anger, fear, stress and sickness. My husband has seen me cry in all of these situations, but in the past few years, I had learned to control that. I didn't cry in situations that should have brought tears. Years of being told I cry to much, I need to be stronger, having my kids watch me during a movie and laughing when I would spring a leak. People didn't do this to be mean but because of their own discomfort with crying. And men have it even harder because they are supposed to be big and tough.
My husband has cried in front of our children and I think this is the healthy thing to do. You see, research has shown that when a person cries they are actually washing away the negative effects that stress has on our bodies. In the bible we read that God takes note of each of our tears. They can show the depth of our emotions and God cares when we are hurting, happy, angry, scared or sick.
Now my husband is not completely comfortable with me crying and it isn't because he is uncaring, on the contrary, he cares very deeply. He just doesn't like to see me hurting just as God doesn't want to see us hurting. I believe that it also grows our marriage stronger. My husband holds me up when I am weak and I return the same.
Tears also have a true healing property. They help to fight germs you might get off of the things you touch daily. So they kill bacteria. Tears also remove toxins. When we cry tears from distress of grief toxic, byproducts are released. They elevate our mood and lower stress. They also build a sense of community. When others see us cry, our hearts go out to them We begin to feel for them. This builds connection.
So overall, tears are a really good thing. It is so good for you to cry, and to cry with others, those who love you. Don't hide your emotions because you are scared, feel you have to be tough or because you don't believe you can let yourself feel. God created emotions for a reason. They are how we get a sense of what's going on inside our bodies when we might not know.
So, let yourself cry. It doesn't mean your weak, it means your truly strong.
Have you ever been told that you should not cry, or quit crying, or heard a parent say, "act like a big boy or girl and stop crying? Or have you ever been accused of being over emotional? Well I have to all the above. Yes, I am a person given to crying at the drop of a hat. Movies, commercials and cards can all trigger my tears.
About a month or so ago, when I had just returned from Denver after 5 weeks away, my husband and I went for a ride into the mountains. Now you must know that my husband is a really strong guy, 6' 7", 275, and full of muscles. I lean on him for his physical and emotional strength, but on this particular day, I would see the side of him that makes him my superman.
As we are driving up into the mountains we had been talking. Mostly about the last 5 weeks, my journey to health, the loss of my dad and his, and just how much we really love each other. I know at this point some of you might be saying, "sappy." Well I love that my hubby loves to communicate with me. I truly believe this has been the key to our 26years of marriage. That and the fact we are both stubborn.
As we were talking my husband became quiet. I looked over and saw tears in his eyes and of course, I start to cry. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I am just so happy your home and I love you so much," This made me cry a little harder. We cried together a little and then we started to giggle a bit. This would probably never have happened in public, but he has cried in a dark theater once or twice.
Tears can represent happiness, sadness, anger, fear, stress and sickness. My husband has seen me cry in all of these situations, but in the past few years, I had learned to control that. I didn't cry in situations that should have brought tears. Years of being told I cry to much, I need to be stronger, having my kids watch me during a movie and laughing when I would spring a leak. People didn't do this to be mean but because of their own discomfort with crying. And men have it even harder because they are supposed to be big and tough.
My husband has cried in front of our children and I think this is the healthy thing to do. You see, research has shown that when a person cries they are actually washing away the negative effects that stress has on our bodies. In the bible we read that God takes note of each of our tears. They can show the depth of our emotions and God cares when we are hurting, happy, angry, scared or sick.
Now my husband is not completely comfortable with me crying and it isn't because he is uncaring, on the contrary, he cares very deeply. He just doesn't like to see me hurting just as God doesn't want to see us hurting. I believe that it also grows our marriage stronger. My husband holds me up when I am weak and I return the same.
Tears also have a true healing property. They help to fight germs you might get off of the things you touch daily. So they kill bacteria. Tears also remove toxins. When we cry tears from distress of grief toxic, byproducts are released. They elevate our mood and lower stress. They also build a sense of community. When others see us cry, our hearts go out to them We begin to feel for them. This builds connection.
So overall, tears are a really good thing. It is so good for you to cry, and to cry with others, those who love you. Don't hide your emotions because you are scared, feel you have to be tough or because you don't believe you can let yourself feel. God created emotions for a reason. They are how we get a sense of what's going on inside our bodies when we might not know.
So, let yourself cry. It doesn't mean your weak, it means your truly strong.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Re-entering Life
So tonight marks my last night of stay at home. I am now 3 months out from the last time I worked. Wow, now that is something I never thought I would do since all my children are now grown.I It has been a long road, this road called recovery, but a journey I will never regret.
I am excited and nervous to start this next part of my journey. I can't wait to see what my new job holds for me. I will be working with all new people but I will be doing what I truly love. I can't wait to get back to caring for the people of my community in the job I truly believe God has called me to. But as I look forward to this, I realize that there is so much more waiting for me.
I have been home 5 weeks now. Time flies when your having fun they say. Fun is not exactly what I would call the last five weeks, but there has been a new joy I have found. Oh, and a new strength inside of myself that I never new was there. I have learned the word no and how to stand up for myself. My son complimented me today when he said, "mom, you really have changed." That felt good to hear that others are seeing that change.
I can only attribute this change to God of course. He has placed all the right people into my life at just the right times. It has helped me get to know myself and to prepare myself for my life after. I am so ready to get back to life again. I have been home like I said, but I have mostly been at home, with my family getting stronger. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family to just love me back to healthy.
Now that is not to say there hasn't been or won't be challenges. I am not foolish enough to believe that all is going to be simple or easy. I do know that I have the tools to deal with the challenges that I might face as I re-enter life. I am beginning to believe in myself and my abilities. I know that recovery from a loss takes time. They have told me to expect this to take at least a year. Its not until that year is over, without any behaviors mind you, that I can truly say I am recovered. That may seem like a long time but I am already 3 months down, leaving only 9 more to go.
Life will bring happiness and sadness, it will sling mud and bring showers to wash it back off. Life will have its ups and downs but overall, I continue to feel blessed. I grow stronger each and everyday with the help of my family and friends and most importantly, from God. I will march boldly back into the life that God has blessed me with, without fear or trepidation knowing that with each step, my heavenly father will be holding me in the palm of His hand. I am ready to re-enter life.
I am excited and nervous to start this next part of my journey. I can't wait to see what my new job holds for me. I will be working with all new people but I will be doing what I truly love. I can't wait to get back to caring for the people of my community in the job I truly believe God has called me to. But as I look forward to this, I realize that there is so much more waiting for me.
I have been home 5 weeks now. Time flies when your having fun they say. Fun is not exactly what I would call the last five weeks, but there has been a new joy I have found. Oh, and a new strength inside of myself that I never new was there. I have learned the word no and how to stand up for myself. My son complimented me today when he said, "mom, you really have changed." That felt good to hear that others are seeing that change.
I can only attribute this change to God of course. He has placed all the right people into my life at just the right times. It has helped me get to know myself and to prepare myself for my life after. I am so ready to get back to life again. I have been home like I said, but I have mostly been at home, with my family getting stronger. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family to just love me back to healthy.
Now that is not to say there hasn't been or won't be challenges. I am not foolish enough to believe that all is going to be simple or easy. I do know that I have the tools to deal with the challenges that I might face as I re-enter life. I am beginning to believe in myself and my abilities. I know that recovery from a loss takes time. They have told me to expect this to take at least a year. Its not until that year is over, without any behaviors mind you, that I can truly say I am recovered. That may seem like a long time but I am already 3 months down, leaving only 9 more to go.
Life will bring happiness and sadness, it will sling mud and bring showers to wash it back off. Life will have its ups and downs but overall, I continue to feel blessed. I grow stronger each and everyday with the help of my family and friends and most importantly, from God. I will march boldly back into the life that God has blessed me with, without fear or trepidation knowing that with each step, my heavenly father will be holding me in the palm of His hand. I am ready to re-enter life.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
True freedom
"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?" 1Corinthians 6:19.
We are called to Honor God because we belong to Him. Now days we fail to realize that our ancestors fought and paid a price in blood so that we could have freedom. Some of us have decided that we can do life on our own terms. We don't need to rely on God. But our country was founded and based on living our lives for God,
When we first came to this country, it was to get away from religious oppression that the British were pushing on to people. We fought for the freedom from slavery. We have gone into foreign countries and even fought for their freedom. But now we see society turning from God. That is not working so great for our country as evidenced in the daily barrage of evil we see in the news. We have committed spiritual suicide by pulling away from what was once a part of almost every home in America.
Have you ever heard that you were purchased? Does that bring to mind being a slave, belonging or being a possession, do you feel that is a form of oppression. Or when you hear that do you feel like you are liberated, exhilarated knowing that God wants to claim you? That is what we should feel. We are the temple for the Holy Spirit, a helper God gave to us to make it through this world.
"You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9
What an awesome thing to hear. That not only are we a chosen people, but one chosen by God Himself. He wanted us. He loves us so much that He was willing to sacrifice His Son so that we could have life with him. We were purchased at a high price, the price of Jesus' blood. Can you think of anyone in this world that would do that for you, or that you would do that for? What a prize. How cherished that makes me feel.
So knowing that we are a treasure to God frees us from that constant need to be what the world says we have to be. We do not have to be perfect, thin, smart, tall, rich or any of the things the world says gives us worth. Our worth is already there. God found us so worthy that He gave us life. He wanted us to be here at this time, in this place with these people. And that doesn't mean life is going to be easy. Oh No.
You see, in order to have freedom, a battle must be fought. That doesn't mean that we win a battle and it is all over. Just like in most countries, there can be multiple battles that we must face. But with each victory or even with defeat, we are winners. Unlike what the world says, when we are defeated is when God can walk in and do the most work. Its in our defeat that we are humbled enough to hear His gentle voice calling us to Him. The noise of the world sometimes drown His voice out, but when we find ourselves defeated, we can hear Him.
In todays day and age, we are bombarded with messages saying that we should think of ourselves, or that we can be self sufficient. You don't find many people willing to help others out unless there is something in it for them. Acts of kindness are so rare and when I am out shopping I have actually had people be extremely rude to me. People who are being paid to do a job. Wow. Our country has made a sharp downward turn just in my lifetime.
When I was little, my grandparents, parents and family were always doing things together or for each other. They did it for others as well. They gave their time, money and attention. And they did it all without expecting anything in return. I do the same thing now but it is getting harder and harder to do. People don't appreciate when you do something nice for them most of the time. It's almost like they expect it or that they think they deserve it.
The other day my son and I were at Wal-Mart when an elderly lady was struggling with her cart. She had purchased 2 big cases of water. I asked her if we could help her to her car. She looked at me stunned. She said, "you don't work here." I told her no we didn't but we would be more than happy to help her. We got her cart to her car and loaded her groceries. She was so happy. That was all the reward I needed. To see her smile.
It is in serving others that I find my reward. That I find freedom that comes from knowing that I am doing what God calls me to be. I lived in the chaos that the world pressured me into before. I fell for the lies that I must look a certain way, work a certain job, have possessions, be rich, smart, funny and on all the time, but God grants me mercy and grace. I don't have to be anything for Him to love me. I just need to believe in Him. Freedom.
Have a blessed day.
Dear heavenly Father, I pray for all of those who are seeking freedom from the stress of this world. I pray that they would find you, give their lives to you and in that find true freedom. Lord I ask that you keep them safe from the lies that the world tells us. That they would be able to accept themselves the way you made them. Thank you for blessing us with another day. Keep watch over my family and friends Amen.
We are called to Honor God because we belong to Him. Now days we fail to realize that our ancestors fought and paid a price in blood so that we could have freedom. Some of us have decided that we can do life on our own terms. We don't need to rely on God. But our country was founded and based on living our lives for God,
When we first came to this country, it was to get away from religious oppression that the British were pushing on to people. We fought for the freedom from slavery. We have gone into foreign countries and even fought for their freedom. But now we see society turning from God. That is not working so great for our country as evidenced in the daily barrage of evil we see in the news. We have committed spiritual suicide by pulling away from what was once a part of almost every home in America.
Have you ever heard that you were purchased? Does that bring to mind being a slave, belonging or being a possession, do you feel that is a form of oppression. Or when you hear that do you feel like you are liberated, exhilarated knowing that God wants to claim you? That is what we should feel. We are the temple for the Holy Spirit, a helper God gave to us to make it through this world.
"You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9
What an awesome thing to hear. That not only are we a chosen people, but one chosen by God Himself. He wanted us. He loves us so much that He was willing to sacrifice His Son so that we could have life with him. We were purchased at a high price, the price of Jesus' blood. Can you think of anyone in this world that would do that for you, or that you would do that for? What a prize. How cherished that makes me feel.
So knowing that we are a treasure to God frees us from that constant need to be what the world says we have to be. We do not have to be perfect, thin, smart, tall, rich or any of the things the world says gives us worth. Our worth is already there. God found us so worthy that He gave us life. He wanted us to be here at this time, in this place with these people. And that doesn't mean life is going to be easy. Oh No.
You see, in order to have freedom, a battle must be fought. That doesn't mean that we win a battle and it is all over. Just like in most countries, there can be multiple battles that we must face. But with each victory or even with defeat, we are winners. Unlike what the world says, when we are defeated is when God can walk in and do the most work. Its in our defeat that we are humbled enough to hear His gentle voice calling us to Him. The noise of the world sometimes drown His voice out, but when we find ourselves defeated, we can hear Him.
In todays day and age, we are bombarded with messages saying that we should think of ourselves, or that we can be self sufficient. You don't find many people willing to help others out unless there is something in it for them. Acts of kindness are so rare and when I am out shopping I have actually had people be extremely rude to me. People who are being paid to do a job. Wow. Our country has made a sharp downward turn just in my lifetime.
When I was little, my grandparents, parents and family were always doing things together or for each other. They did it for others as well. They gave their time, money and attention. And they did it all without expecting anything in return. I do the same thing now but it is getting harder and harder to do. People don't appreciate when you do something nice for them most of the time. It's almost like they expect it or that they think they deserve it.
The other day my son and I were at Wal-Mart when an elderly lady was struggling with her cart. She had purchased 2 big cases of water. I asked her if we could help her to her car. She looked at me stunned. She said, "you don't work here." I told her no we didn't but we would be more than happy to help her. We got her cart to her car and loaded her groceries. She was so happy. That was all the reward I needed. To see her smile.
It is in serving others that I find my reward. That I find freedom that comes from knowing that I am doing what God calls me to be. I lived in the chaos that the world pressured me into before. I fell for the lies that I must look a certain way, work a certain job, have possessions, be rich, smart, funny and on all the time, but God grants me mercy and grace. I don't have to be anything for Him to love me. I just need to believe in Him. Freedom.
Have a blessed day.
Dear heavenly Father, I pray for all of those who are seeking freedom from the stress of this world. I pray that they would find you, give their lives to you and in that find true freedom. Lord I ask that you keep them safe from the lies that the world tells us. That they would be able to accept themselves the way you made them. Thank you for blessing us with another day. Keep watch over my family and friends Amen.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Feeding the Temple with wisdom
Ok so now I am learning to have a right relationship with food, so what do I do to make sure that I am feeding it and using wisdom to do so? That is the tough question here. We are told to be anxious for nothing, and that makes sense, but when you are trying to find your way to healthy, you tend to be anxious about certain situations that involve food. How do you do this and not be anxious you might ask? The answer might seem easy, but it is one I know I have struggled with.
I am learning that my guide to eating healthy is to consider what it is that I am going to be putting into my body. Not to be anxious about it or to worry about what it might be, but to truly think about and consider what it is I am doing. I need to be thankful that I have a wide variety of food available to me on a daily basis. This may not be true for everyone, so this is where true consideration must come in. You need to ensure that the food you are choosing are foods that will nourish and not harm. Some companies may try to pass their food off as healthy by using deceptive packaging, labeling or advertising.
Learning to read labels and understanding them will be one step in making sure the food you are consuming is not processed, stuffed full of chemicals and unnatural coloring or flavors, or with artificial sweeteners. These types of food make it so that your body no longer can hear itself. That means you are not going to get hunger or fullness signals. With out these signals, you may find yourself overeating or craving foods that are unhealthy. How can we change this if this has already become your cycle?
"But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest. when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified." 1 Corinthians 9:27. This being said, I believe that as well as getting healthy in our eating, we must also get healthy physically. Never start an exercise program without first consulting with your doctor, but once you have, start easy. It is in gaining physical strength that you strengthen your emotional and mental strength.
Becoming physical helps your body to come into line with what God wants for our temple. As we begin an approved exercise program, our body begins to become the servant, and we, the master. Day to day activity makes us tired and can weaken us, but our spirit never tires. As we bring ourselves back into alignment with God in regards to our temple, we are better able to do the things God calls us to. Physical activity increases our endurance and flexibility so that we can respond to the tough things God demands at times.
Now, we have to realize that this will not be an overnight change. We didn't get where we are overnight, and we aren't going to reverse or change it overnight. No quick fixes contrary to all the advertisements we see. Yes in 30 days you can be stronger doing any type of exercise, but in 30 days your never going to look like the people in the infomercials we are bombarded with all the time. We want it to be true but just like the little kid in the care continuously asking, "are we there yet," it won't make the journey any faster.
We must practice the patience that God talks about in His word. In Hebrews 6:12, we are taught that patience is a fruit of the spirit. We must exercise it to grow it. When we do this, we are less likely to fall victim to that frustration that can set in when we don't see the immediate results the infomercials throw at us all the time. I just started running again and I am not fast by any means, but the phrase that runs through my head while I am running is, "slow and steady wins the race." I am not trying to win any race, I am just trying to finish strong. And to get healthier along the way.
I do this by setting small goals for myself. The first day I went out, my goal was just to walk a certain distance. I did that for a few days, and I felt good once I completed that. My other goal was to start adding more fruits and vegi's into my diet. I did that to. They may not seem significant, but they are a start. I try to keep track of what I eat daily in a journal. This helps me to look back and see what I am eating, it also holds me accountable for what I am putting into my temple. These little things begin to add up, and I am feeling better and stronger everyday.
So set the small goals, enjoy trying new foods, new exercises, just getting outside and being in nature. You will notice changes like you are getting stronger, you have more energy and your body is changing. You might see muscles where you never knew you had any. You will notice that you can walk farther without losing your breath. These little things are the gentle reminders that you made a right choice in getting healthy the right way. You may never be a size 4 or whatever it is society claims is beautiful, but you will be healthier, happier and better able to enjoy your life.
Remember to ask God to give you the wisdom to make right choices. Consult your doctor and/or a dietician to make sure you are properly fueling your body. Again it won't happen overnight, but one day you will wake up and feel better than you did when you started. Many blessings on you today and in your journey. God bless.
I am learning that my guide to eating healthy is to consider what it is that I am going to be putting into my body. Not to be anxious about it or to worry about what it might be, but to truly think about and consider what it is I am doing. I need to be thankful that I have a wide variety of food available to me on a daily basis. This may not be true for everyone, so this is where true consideration must come in. You need to ensure that the food you are choosing are foods that will nourish and not harm. Some companies may try to pass their food off as healthy by using deceptive packaging, labeling or advertising.
Learning to read labels and understanding them will be one step in making sure the food you are consuming is not processed, stuffed full of chemicals and unnatural coloring or flavors, or with artificial sweeteners. These types of food make it so that your body no longer can hear itself. That means you are not going to get hunger or fullness signals. With out these signals, you may find yourself overeating or craving foods that are unhealthy. How can we change this if this has already become your cycle?
"But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest. when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified." 1 Corinthians 9:27. This being said, I believe that as well as getting healthy in our eating, we must also get healthy physically. Never start an exercise program without first consulting with your doctor, but once you have, start easy. It is in gaining physical strength that you strengthen your emotional and mental strength.
Becoming physical helps your body to come into line with what God wants for our temple. As we begin an approved exercise program, our body begins to become the servant, and we, the master. Day to day activity makes us tired and can weaken us, but our spirit never tires. As we bring ourselves back into alignment with God in regards to our temple, we are better able to do the things God calls us to. Physical activity increases our endurance and flexibility so that we can respond to the tough things God demands at times.
Now, we have to realize that this will not be an overnight change. We didn't get where we are overnight, and we aren't going to reverse or change it overnight. No quick fixes contrary to all the advertisements we see. Yes in 30 days you can be stronger doing any type of exercise, but in 30 days your never going to look like the people in the infomercials we are bombarded with all the time. We want it to be true but just like the little kid in the care continuously asking, "are we there yet," it won't make the journey any faster.
We must practice the patience that God talks about in His word. In Hebrews 6:12, we are taught that patience is a fruit of the spirit. We must exercise it to grow it. When we do this, we are less likely to fall victim to that frustration that can set in when we don't see the immediate results the infomercials throw at us all the time. I just started running again and I am not fast by any means, but the phrase that runs through my head while I am running is, "slow and steady wins the race." I am not trying to win any race, I am just trying to finish strong. And to get healthier along the way.
I do this by setting small goals for myself. The first day I went out, my goal was just to walk a certain distance. I did that for a few days, and I felt good once I completed that. My other goal was to start adding more fruits and vegi's into my diet. I did that to. They may not seem significant, but they are a start. I try to keep track of what I eat daily in a journal. This helps me to look back and see what I am eating, it also holds me accountable for what I am putting into my temple. These little things begin to add up, and I am feeling better and stronger everyday.
So set the small goals, enjoy trying new foods, new exercises, just getting outside and being in nature. You will notice changes like you are getting stronger, you have more energy and your body is changing. You might see muscles where you never knew you had any. You will notice that you can walk farther without losing your breath. These little things are the gentle reminders that you made a right choice in getting healthy the right way. You may never be a size 4 or whatever it is society claims is beautiful, but you will be healthier, happier and better able to enjoy your life.
Remember to ask God to give you the wisdom to make right choices. Consult your doctor and/or a dietician to make sure you are properly fueling your body. Again it won't happen overnight, but one day you will wake up and feel better than you did when you started. Many blessings on you today and in your journey. God bless.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Peace and Joy in our temple
When I read scripture pertaining to my "temple", it says that God wants us to have peace in our lives. But I just couldn't seem to find that. Why? Because I kept comparing myself to what the world says people should look instead of trying to look more like Christ. Theses thoughts were contrary to God's word and therefore, stole my joy and peace. This concerns God. This hindered my ability to do what God has called me to do. This thinking was killing me.
But how do I know what is a right way to live a healthy life, meaning having a healthy relationship with food, and what way is wrong? I believe that it boils down to what is the reason I want to lose weight, how am I going to achieve weight loss and who am I before, during and after weight loss? Simple? Maybe, but I think this is much deeper. I believe there are biblical principles that I must follow in order to do this the right way.
So what is the reason that you want to lose weight. Jesus stated, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent me, and to finish His work." John 4:34. So I have to ask myself, am I wanting to lose the weight for the world, or because of the way God calls me to treat the temple? For me, being in my eating disorder was never about God. It was always about food. I thought about food so much so, that it consumed me. So I knew I needed to be careful about what I was about to undertake. I had gone through treatment, now I needed to find a balance and a right way to do what I know is right.
Now I don't mean thinking about just eating food, it was an obsession for me. I thought about what food was good, what was bad, where we were going to eat, how was I going to manage eating out and then acting in my behaviors. How would I be able to eat and not have my family know what I was doing. I would say I thought about food about 85-90% of the time. I worked during all this time as well so that meant trying to juggle my disorder while hiding it from everyone and still maintaining my life.
This meant that there wasn't much time to think about what God had called me to do or about the gifts He had given me that were to be used to further His kingdom. About why and how food was to be consumed. I didn't find joy in Him, I found it in food and in my disorder, but in order for me to be truly healthy and recover fully, I needed to restore a right relationship with food. That means I needed to retrain my brain after all these years of disordered thinking when it come to food, and use God's word and my dietician to help me create a right relationship, ordered thinking, and balance when it comes to food. That isn't easy in our American culture right now. Bigger, more and richer is what we do. So how was I going to find that healthy balance? In God's word.
God created food for us to enjoy, to provide nutrients and energy for daily living. Food is needed to repair our bodies and for our bodies to be able to rebuild themselves. Its when we begin to eat for reasons other that what God intended that it becomes a problem. Food was never meant to control us. That is why we are encouraged to, "lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race set before us." Hebrews 12:1. That means I must be willing to lay aside what I have thought for so many years about food and to run to what God says is a right relationship with food.
So this being said, how can I then find a correct relationship with food and apply it in a way that helps me to supply the needs of my body and to help me be at a weight that is healthy? I believe the only way I can do this is to use a biblical approach that will guide me to reach that goal. I have read all kinds of weight loss books, joined weight loss programs, and paid all kinds of money trying to achieve what I wanted. Its crazy to think all the while, it was right there in front of me. In the bible. I didn't need some so called expert to tell me what to do. Its all in the bible. In Proverbs 23:1-3 it tells us how we are to eat. We are to eat with self control and to eat wisely.
I needed to learn to eat without fear or anxiety. That is not how God intended it to be. I needed to learn to choose my food wisely and to not eat to much. I am so privileged that I live in a country where I have so many good food choices. That in and of itself is a great blessing. Secondly, I am responsible to ensure that the foods I am choosing for myself are ones that are going to help my body and not hurt it. The more I choose foods in there natural state, the better my body can begin to learn the signal of satisfaction. Eating processed, chemical laden pre-packaged food is only going to mess me up more. These foods may make you feel full but they never really satisfy. I think this is why we crave them and then eat them in amounts that are clearly unhealthy.
So I began learning about the foods that I regularly turn to and what type of affect they have on me when I eat them. I noticed that when I ate certain things, I become to sluggish, so I tried to change up how much of those foods I was eating. Trying new, whole or raw foods, that means food close to its natural state, and seeing how your body feels. Be mindful if you have certain food allergies and avoid things that may cause you problems. Eat the food in its most natural, raw state. You get the most nutrients that way. That is in most cases except for meat.
Gluttony is a sin. When we eat a food to access, that is being gluttonous. We must eat with self control. That is hard when you are just starting out, especially if eating all the time was a habit. You didn't eat when you were hungry, you just ate to eat. So learning to eat when your body is hungry is something that will take time. I have been eating at certain times of the day, times that I decided, which is about every 3-4 hours. By doing this, I am resetting my internal signals. This is helping my body to relearn its natural hunger ques.
When I was eating the way I was before, I wasn't in a state of alertness, This means my judgment was impaired and I wasn't able to make right choices. "For the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and drowsiness with clothe a man with rags." Proverbs 23:21 I couldn't make right food choices or eat the way God called me to because I was drunk on food so to speak. In order for me to hear God, I need to be alert but when you have a food addictions, you can't hear the Holy Spirit when he gently nudges you. You are in what I like to call, a "food fog." Not a good thing when one is trying to feed the temple.
Lastly today I am going to talk about my identity. I am called by God to walk the way Christ walked. I am a child of God and therefore called to live my life according to His will and purpose. My true identity is in Him. With my disorderly thinking about food, I was out of control. Food was what was controlling my life, not me and more importantly, not God. Because of this, although I was desperately trying to lose weight, I just kept gaining. I no longer was in control of the disorder but it was now controlling me. I lost my identity, who I am, who God called me to be.
Learning that who I am, my true identity, found only in Christ, is what has lead me out of that disordered thinking. My chance to hear that still small voice came on August 11th, 2014 when I lay in the emergency room thinking that this was it. I was not going to make it. Realizing that I had been slowly killing myself because I had lost who I was. God spoke to me and told me to tell the truth, to seek help and to turn back to Him. You know what, He was right.
I had to admit my problem, be honest with the Dr., nurses, my husband, co-workers, myself and then most importantly, to admit my weakness to God. I cried out to Him in my time of need. I began to pray and spend time in His word again. And guess what, daily He spoke to me. It was really quiet at first, because I was struggling to let go. Struggling with not being, "in control." But in this, I learned to let go of the thinking that was killing me. I learned to leave all of my burdens at the cross and to lean completely on my heavenly Father.
Letting go meant learning to love me to. Just that way I am. Not thin or fat, rich or poor, smart, pretty, none of those things that the world says I have to be in order to be of worth. I began to learn that my body, no matter what it looks like, is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I am learning that I can love me right where I am. And I am learning that this journey will be for a lifetime. There are no quick fixes, like the ones that got me to this place. It is going to take time, but I know that with Christ, all things are possible. I may never be what the world calls beautiful, and who really wants to be, but I will be what my Father created me to be. I am a child of God, I am beautiful, I am loved.
But how do I know what is a right way to live a healthy life, meaning having a healthy relationship with food, and what way is wrong? I believe that it boils down to what is the reason I want to lose weight, how am I going to achieve weight loss and who am I before, during and after weight loss? Simple? Maybe, but I think this is much deeper. I believe there are biblical principles that I must follow in order to do this the right way.
So what is the reason that you want to lose weight. Jesus stated, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent me, and to finish His work." John 4:34. So I have to ask myself, am I wanting to lose the weight for the world, or because of the way God calls me to treat the temple? For me, being in my eating disorder was never about God. It was always about food. I thought about food so much so, that it consumed me. So I knew I needed to be careful about what I was about to undertake. I had gone through treatment, now I needed to find a balance and a right way to do what I know is right.
Now I don't mean thinking about just eating food, it was an obsession for me. I thought about what food was good, what was bad, where we were going to eat, how was I going to manage eating out and then acting in my behaviors. How would I be able to eat and not have my family know what I was doing. I would say I thought about food about 85-90% of the time. I worked during all this time as well so that meant trying to juggle my disorder while hiding it from everyone and still maintaining my life.
This meant that there wasn't much time to think about what God had called me to do or about the gifts He had given me that were to be used to further His kingdom. About why and how food was to be consumed. I didn't find joy in Him, I found it in food and in my disorder, but in order for me to be truly healthy and recover fully, I needed to restore a right relationship with food. That means I needed to retrain my brain after all these years of disordered thinking when it come to food, and use God's word and my dietician to help me create a right relationship, ordered thinking, and balance when it comes to food. That isn't easy in our American culture right now. Bigger, more and richer is what we do. So how was I going to find that healthy balance? In God's word.
God created food for us to enjoy, to provide nutrients and energy for daily living. Food is needed to repair our bodies and for our bodies to be able to rebuild themselves. Its when we begin to eat for reasons other that what God intended that it becomes a problem. Food was never meant to control us. That is why we are encouraged to, "lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race set before us." Hebrews 12:1. That means I must be willing to lay aside what I have thought for so many years about food and to run to what God says is a right relationship with food.
So this being said, how can I then find a correct relationship with food and apply it in a way that helps me to supply the needs of my body and to help me be at a weight that is healthy? I believe the only way I can do this is to use a biblical approach that will guide me to reach that goal. I have read all kinds of weight loss books, joined weight loss programs, and paid all kinds of money trying to achieve what I wanted. Its crazy to think all the while, it was right there in front of me. In the bible. I didn't need some so called expert to tell me what to do. Its all in the bible. In Proverbs 23:1-3 it tells us how we are to eat. We are to eat with self control and to eat wisely.
I needed to learn to eat without fear or anxiety. That is not how God intended it to be. I needed to learn to choose my food wisely and to not eat to much. I am so privileged that I live in a country where I have so many good food choices. That in and of itself is a great blessing. Secondly, I am responsible to ensure that the foods I am choosing for myself are ones that are going to help my body and not hurt it. The more I choose foods in there natural state, the better my body can begin to learn the signal of satisfaction. Eating processed, chemical laden pre-packaged food is only going to mess me up more. These foods may make you feel full but they never really satisfy. I think this is why we crave them and then eat them in amounts that are clearly unhealthy.
So I began learning about the foods that I regularly turn to and what type of affect they have on me when I eat them. I noticed that when I ate certain things, I become to sluggish, so I tried to change up how much of those foods I was eating. Trying new, whole or raw foods, that means food close to its natural state, and seeing how your body feels. Be mindful if you have certain food allergies and avoid things that may cause you problems. Eat the food in its most natural, raw state. You get the most nutrients that way. That is in most cases except for meat.
Gluttony is a sin. When we eat a food to access, that is being gluttonous. We must eat with self control. That is hard when you are just starting out, especially if eating all the time was a habit. You didn't eat when you were hungry, you just ate to eat. So learning to eat when your body is hungry is something that will take time. I have been eating at certain times of the day, times that I decided, which is about every 3-4 hours. By doing this, I am resetting my internal signals. This is helping my body to relearn its natural hunger ques.
When I was eating the way I was before, I wasn't in a state of alertness, This means my judgment was impaired and I wasn't able to make right choices. "For the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and drowsiness with clothe a man with rags." Proverbs 23:21 I couldn't make right food choices or eat the way God called me to because I was drunk on food so to speak. In order for me to hear God, I need to be alert but when you have a food addictions, you can't hear the Holy Spirit when he gently nudges you. You are in what I like to call, a "food fog." Not a good thing when one is trying to feed the temple.
Lastly today I am going to talk about my identity. I am called by God to walk the way Christ walked. I am a child of God and therefore called to live my life according to His will and purpose. My true identity is in Him. With my disorderly thinking about food, I was out of control. Food was what was controlling my life, not me and more importantly, not God. Because of this, although I was desperately trying to lose weight, I just kept gaining. I no longer was in control of the disorder but it was now controlling me. I lost my identity, who I am, who God called me to be.
Learning that who I am, my true identity, found only in Christ, is what has lead me out of that disordered thinking. My chance to hear that still small voice came on August 11th, 2014 when I lay in the emergency room thinking that this was it. I was not going to make it. Realizing that I had been slowly killing myself because I had lost who I was. God spoke to me and told me to tell the truth, to seek help and to turn back to Him. You know what, He was right.
I had to admit my problem, be honest with the Dr., nurses, my husband, co-workers, myself and then most importantly, to admit my weakness to God. I cried out to Him in my time of need. I began to pray and spend time in His word again. And guess what, daily He spoke to me. It was really quiet at first, because I was struggling to let go. Struggling with not being, "in control." But in this, I learned to let go of the thinking that was killing me. I learned to leave all of my burdens at the cross and to lean completely on my heavenly Father.
Letting go meant learning to love me to. Just that way I am. Not thin or fat, rich or poor, smart, pretty, none of those things that the world says I have to be in order to be of worth. I began to learn that my body, no matter what it looks like, is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I am learning that I can love me right where I am. And I am learning that this journey will be for a lifetime. There are no quick fixes, like the ones that got me to this place. It is going to take time, but I know that with Christ, all things are possible. I may never be what the world calls beautiful, and who really wants to be, but I will be what my Father created me to be. I am a child of God, I am beautiful, I am loved.
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