Procrastination

I am not the queen of procrastination but I bet I could give her a run for her money. I start out with great intentions and plans, and then quickly find other things to do besides the ones I know I need to do. I write out a list in my head and then start watching a show on tv, get on facebook, read a book, or a million other things rather then the list. This hasn't always been my nature. I used to be very focused and almost OCD about things. But as I have gotten older, I find myself being a little more lax.
Now I am not saying it isn't a good thing to take a break, but everyday cannot be a break. You can't justify sitting on the couch for 4 hours straight and say, "oh I was folding laundry and watching tv." That works for only about 30 minutes. Unless of course you take in other peoples laundry and its your business. This is just on of the excuses I use.
This also applies in my relationship with God. I used to say, "Oh, I'll pray for you," or "I am praying about that." The truth was, I was not really praying at all. I would say to myself that I would pray later. That time never came. Then I started to wonder where was God? Why did I not feel Him in my life anymore? Why was I reverting back to old habits? The answer was easy. It wasn't where was God, but where was I? I, not God, had walked away from the relationship. I had stopped reading my bible, stopped singing on praise team, stopped praying about things and stopped relying on God.
I got caught up in myself and thinking that everything I had, and everything I had become was of my own doing. I took the credit for all the great works God was doing in my life. I started thinking about living like the "Jones`," instead of living the way God called me. The things I thought I had accomplished were taken away from me one by one. God loved me enough to break me down once again, and to show me He, not I, was in control. It is a hard lesson to face.
My life now is much slower paced. I get up each morning and spend time in the Word. I listen to what God is saying to me. I pray throughout the day and always before bed. I am not to busy to get down on my knees when the need arises. And I am again doing what God has called me to do and using the talents He has given me. I praise Him daily for all the things He has blessed me with. I especially thank Him for being patient with me and guiding me back into His loving arms. His tender mercies are there for me everyday. His Grace is sufficient for me. I thank God that He has taught me to lean on Him for all my needs and that I need to stick to my lists. He has shown me that slothfulness is a sin and I need to be focused each and everyday. Thank you God for always being there and never leaving me even in my selfishness.