So as most of you know I am recovering from surgery that I had last month. The recovery period has been so hard for me. You would think that having 6 weeks off of work would be a breeze. Well, for me it isn't. I can't handle just sitting around and having to depend on others. Its so darned hard.
Well that is exactly what I have had to learn. There have been times when I have tried to do things, and in true Carrie fashion, I don't do it small. Each time I have regretted it because there have been consequences. Not anything that I would wish, but set backs none the less. Some were scary, but apparently never scary enough for me to learn my lesson.
I get scolded, by my husband, family, and myself. Than a few days later, I just do it again. Not the same thing, but just pushing myself to do more than what my body is ready to do. Its not smart, but I do it again. Why do we do that? Why do we, "Learn our lesson," only to repeat it again at another time either the same way or different but just as bad. So foolish we can be.
One lesson I have learned I had to learn the hard way. That is looking at what others have and becoming envious or angry that I have worked so hard and still don't have some of the things I want and feel I deserve.
That makes me angry or hurt. I can't understand why others deserve so much better, or what I perceive as better, than what I have. But God tells us in Philippians 4:19, "And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Wow, that is profound. It speaks to me that I may think I need it but is it a want or a need.
When we don't get what we want, we can become angry, cry, have a temper tantrum or whatever. We feel cheated, but we really aren't. We just project that feeling onto ourselves. We aren't cheated because what we want was not ours and so no one took it from us.
There is a story in the bible that tells of a Master who hired workers to work in his vineyard. (Matthew 20:1-16). He hired the men and told them what they would be paid for the work that they did. Some began at the start of the day, early in the morning. Others started in the afternoon, and yet still, others started late in the day.
At the end of the day, the master paid the workers the agreed upon wage. Imagine the way those who were hired first felt when they saw that those hired last were paid the same wage. They became angry and wanted more pay. The owner explained to them that they agreed to do the work for that amount. He told them to take the wage and go. The workers felt this was unjust, they felt it unfair that some worked 1 hour and got paid the same as those who worded a full day. How unfair. Or is it?
You see, they all agreed to work for the wage the owner hired them at. It didn't change what they agreed on just because the others worked less time. It was the wage they agreed to at the start of the day and didn't change because others agreed to the same pay for less work.
In today's day and age, I'm sure if this happened, people would want to protest, cause riots, burn down the vineyards, or boycott the business. But life is not always fair, and its not meant to be. This story is God's way of telling us that life isn't always fair. That there are those who will come into the fold later in life, after a life of sin and living their way. God will welcome them with open arms and heaven will rejoice just as it did when you were first saved.
We should all rejoice at this because they were saved, not be envious or jealous because they lived a life of sin and than repented and were saved. Would you really have been happier if you had lived life in sin and gotten saved later, or even with your last breath? Do you think life would have been so much better this way?
How about looking at it this way. You were saved earlier, you got to know the Lord early on in life. You spent time getting to know Him, reading His word, in fellowship with Him and worshiping Him. You grew that relationship and learned so much along the way. You may have been instrumental in someone else coming to the Lord. How much more is that worth to you?
For me, its invaluable. Its the time, the lessons, the grace, the mercy, and so much more. The life lessons I have learned during that time. The journey of falling in love with the Lord and being blessed with all that He has given me. WOW!!!
To me its like Proverbs 3:13-14. "How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding. For its profit is far better than the profit of silver, and its gain than fine gold." I mean, what could be better than that? NOTHING! Its laid out in terms man can understand, but it speaks of the riches and glory we receive from our Heavenly Father.
So I will leave you with this. How will you choose to face what you see as unfairness? Will you face it with faith, or anger? With love or hate? Half full, or half empty? The choice is yours!
Be blessed friends as you go through your weekend.
Yours truly,
Carrie
Friday, May 17, 2019
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
Wait on the Lord, and again I say wait.
May 1, 2019. Happy May day.
So it has nearly been a year since I have written. Boy life has gotten busy and I have not written on my blog. I have continued to journal so what I am going to write today will be from a journal writing from last year and the one I wrote again recently following surgery.
Yes I said surgery. This girl finally decided that in order to better care for others, she had to take care of herself. It was a rough surgery, there were some minor complications, but the Lord pulled me through it and recovery is taking place as I write.
In March of last year, I wrote in my personal journal about waiting on the Lord. I am well aware that patience is not one of my better virtues. I figure out what I want to do, or where I want to be, and than I proceed to want it right then and there. Funny thing is, patience is just what the Lord is making be learn through this surgery and recovery period.
So this year, my journal had the same theme, so I titled it, "Wait again". I found myself in a place where I needed to wait on the Lord and trust in the process taking place. Ugh, the whole patience thing again. I think God is trying to make it one of my better virtues possibly.
I feel like I trust God and his plan for my life, but patience is such a challenge for me. I feel I need the answer now, to know the outcome even before something has taken place. I feel out of control when this doesn't happens, and out of control feels icky to me. But I am learning that when I am not in control, God is. This is real trust, and something I am learning through the healing process.
Doing this means having faith, and faith means trusting whether I know the outcome or not. I must trust that the outcome will be just what God has planned and that He knows what my life needs, and will provide. He does not want me walking in fear, but in that faith that I proclaim to have.
Through some of the difficulties I have had since surgery, I found myself looking things up on the internet. This really wasn't wise as it opened me up to even more fear than faith. Did you know, the internet is pessimistic? You can type in symptoms or questions about something and its going to give you the worst possible scenarios. I mean really, what better way than this to convince you that your sicker than you are, or worse, your dying.
Instead of thinking I must know everything, I am learning to just rest, wait in the Lord, and trust that his outcomes for my life are better than anything I could think of myself. I read in Ecclesiastes 3:1, "There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven." And in John 16:33 RED LETTER "These things I have spoken to you, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have over come the world."
In Psalms 27:14 we see the title of this blog in verse. It says, "Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord." Its so important that we wait for the Lord that the Psalmist writes it twice. Wait, and again wait. Stop trying to figure your life out on your own and before its time. Begin to live life one day at a time.
Seek the Lord when you run into things your unsure about and see if its something He has designed for you to deal with at this time. If not, let it go. When we do this, we can begin to have a life that runs more smoothly instead of thinking that everything has to have an answer or a fix at this exact moment. This will free you up for a more simple, less hectic and less stressful life.
When we wait on the Lord, focus on Him and not the noise of the world, all the chaos that has been our norm begins to lose its power. The world may continue in chaos, but in Him we find peace. Remember, He overcame the world so that we might have peace.
Blessings to you and yours and may Gods peace reign in your life this week.
So it has nearly been a year since I have written. Boy life has gotten busy and I have not written on my blog. I have continued to journal so what I am going to write today will be from a journal writing from last year and the one I wrote again recently following surgery.
Yes I said surgery. This girl finally decided that in order to better care for others, she had to take care of herself. It was a rough surgery, there were some minor complications, but the Lord pulled me through it and recovery is taking place as I write.
In March of last year, I wrote in my personal journal about waiting on the Lord. I am well aware that patience is not one of my better virtues. I figure out what I want to do, or where I want to be, and than I proceed to want it right then and there. Funny thing is, patience is just what the Lord is making be learn through this surgery and recovery period.
So this year, my journal had the same theme, so I titled it, "Wait again". I found myself in a place where I needed to wait on the Lord and trust in the process taking place. Ugh, the whole patience thing again. I think God is trying to make it one of my better virtues possibly.
I feel like I trust God and his plan for my life, but patience is such a challenge for me. I feel I need the answer now, to know the outcome even before something has taken place. I feel out of control when this doesn't happens, and out of control feels icky to me. But I am learning that when I am not in control, God is. This is real trust, and something I am learning through the healing process.
Doing this means having faith, and faith means trusting whether I know the outcome or not. I must trust that the outcome will be just what God has planned and that He knows what my life needs, and will provide. He does not want me walking in fear, but in that faith that I proclaim to have.
Through some of the difficulties I have had since surgery, I found myself looking things up on the internet. This really wasn't wise as it opened me up to even more fear than faith. Did you know, the internet is pessimistic? You can type in symptoms or questions about something and its going to give you the worst possible scenarios. I mean really, what better way than this to convince you that your sicker than you are, or worse, your dying.
Instead of thinking I must know everything, I am learning to just rest, wait in the Lord, and trust that his outcomes for my life are better than anything I could think of myself. I read in Ecclesiastes 3:1, "There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven." And in John 16:33 RED LETTER "These things I have spoken to you, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have over come the world."
In Psalms 27:14 we see the title of this blog in verse. It says, "Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord." Its so important that we wait for the Lord that the Psalmist writes it twice. Wait, and again wait. Stop trying to figure your life out on your own and before its time. Begin to live life one day at a time.
Seek the Lord when you run into things your unsure about and see if its something He has designed for you to deal with at this time. If not, let it go. When we do this, we can begin to have a life that runs more smoothly instead of thinking that everything has to have an answer or a fix at this exact moment. This will free you up for a more simple, less hectic and less stressful life.
When we wait on the Lord, focus on Him and not the noise of the world, all the chaos that has been our norm begins to lose its power. The world may continue in chaos, but in Him we find peace. Remember, He overcame the world so that we might have peace.
Blessings to you and yours and may Gods peace reign in your life this week.
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